I consider myself someone who gets along with pretty much anyone. I can always seem to make small talk, relate to others and see everyone’s point of view. Having said that, I have been required to work with people I just, well, don’t really like.
It’s inevitable that there will be times we just don’t get along with everyone. In your personal life, it’s normally pretty easy to avoid people you don’t like, but what happens when you are forced to work with someone you don’t can’t seem to get along with?
Accept that it is okay not to like everyone
In life, there will be people we instantly gel with, those that take a little longer to develop a friendship with and people who we just will never get along with. You don’t have to feel guilty, it happens to us all.
You don’t have to act on your feelings
Feelings and actions are different, just because you feel something doesn’t mean that you must act on it. Sometimes it might be better just to keep it to yourself.
Venting your frustrations at the office water cooler to anyone who will listen won’t help anyone. In fact, you could end up looking like the office bully. Gossiping won’t get anyone on your side or help you bond, it simply hurts your reputation.
Ask yourself what’s really going on?
No matter what your colleague says, their voice grates on you, your blood boils and your frustration levels go through the roof. Ask yourself what’s really going on, why is that person pushing your buttons?
Do they remind you of someone else who hurt you in the past? Perhaps they continually interrupt you when you speak, just like your mum did when you were growing up.
Understand yourself better and forgive those that hurt you in the past so you don’t have to carry this burden around with you.
Keep control of your own emotions
You have control how you react to situations; people only drive you crazy if you allow them
Recognise your feelings and let them go You don’t have to agree with everyone in the office, but it is important to treat everyone with the same level of respect
Remember it’s not personal
A disagreement at work can simply be a misunderstanding, it is important to see the problem from the other perspective. If you overreact, they will overreact and things can escalate very quickly. Focus on the facts, not how the person is reacting, concentrate on the issue and not the person.
Take some space, some timeout. Walking away to take a deep breath is perfectly okay and return to the issue when the emotion has been removed.
Get a referee
If you find solving the issue impossible, consider using a referee and remember that confrontation doesn’t have to be aggressive. Ask someone to mediate discussions in order to bring a level of objectivity to a situation. Chances are you won’t end up as best friends, but you might find a way to communicate and work together in an effective way.
Pick your battles
Pick your battles wisely, ask yourself is this really worth your time and attention? Do you really need to engage or would your effort be better spent elsewhere? Would it be more effective just to get on with your work and let this one go?
We are all in change or our own happiness
It is important to remember that only you have control of your feelings. You decide how to react to that annoying co-worker, never let anyone limit your own happiness and success.
Never let anyone limit your happiness or success and don’t let someone gain power over you for a moment just because they darken your day
Who are you struggling to get-a-long with?